The outward appearance is deceiving. How we appear on the outside is not always a true reflection. The battles of our minds are fought in silence. But behind peoples eyes lurk shadows both dark and deep. An infinite sea of thoughts.
Mental illness is a storm that emerges with the malice of an enemy. This storm is the ultimate unknown, an unknown that we most fear.
Within this storm is anxiety, a thunder that becomes louder and louder with each passing second, until it becomes cacophonous. Each thought is a lightning bolt, vying for attention, wanting to be heard as it pulses along with each beat of your heart.
It is a sea of thoughts that continues to roar, a monster awakening within its depths.
Anxiety is a storm that allows you to survive but stops you from thriving.
As the storm rages on, it becomes unyielding, deadly, merciless.
This storm of worries has no escape.
It becomes harder and harder to breathe. Your body begins to tremble, as your teeth chatter uncontrollably. A fist clenches your chest tighter and tighter. Imagine your breathing becoming more and more rapid until you feel like you can no longer breathe, you are drowning in this sea of worry that wishes to consume you.
The sea of worries continues to bellow in your mind, until it becomes unbearable. It makes you lose all sense of direction as these waves of anxiety thrust forward relentlessly with such power it begins to submerge you.
Anxiety is like being held underwater with no way of coming up for air.
Depression is a darkening sky, a cluster of charcoal clouds that chase the sun away. They hang low, looming like a weight in your mind. This sky continues to rain, each raindrop a tear of sadness.
But we all have an anchor keeping us tethered, a great bolt of light guiding us through the storm. Once the moment you have been dreading ends the sea of thoughts becomes calm, the storm in your heart gradually ebbing. The darkness of mental illness begins to subside giving way to its own momentary demise, finally allowing you to breathe. You feel pure and utter relief. But unfortunately, this is only the calm before yet another storm of worry, sadness and fear.
Find the anchor that keeps you tethered, that guides you through this storm called mental illness. This anchor could be something that you love to do, that allows you to forget your thoughts for a while or it can be merely the desire to thrive rather then merely survive.
Do not let mental illness wholly consume you for you are the storm but the world is your sea.
It shows strength to constantly fight against a sea of worries that wishes to drown you, against a demon called depression, a sadness that wants to consume you, to fight an illness of many faces. Mental illness is many things but weakness is not one of them.
Remember you are the master of your own sea.
How would you describe your mental illness? Is it similar or different to this post? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below or tweet @battlesofmind on Twitter!